me and my eating disorder

I’ve been aware of having an eating disorder since I was twenty something.

consisted of eating a lot of junk food for meals instead of real food.

I know I got it from my mother, as she would…

  • always finish her meal before anyone else.
  • if we had a roast, she would go from the table and start picking at the roast meat.
  • she made a lot of sweet stuff. Loads of baking all the time.
  • she would say things like: “my body needs salt, so these salt and vinegar chips are just what I need”.
  • she was obese, but would tell you that she wasn’t fat at all, “it’s just my shape after having my second child”, and she believed it with all her might.
  • she would say: “I could eat a meal and go on to eat another meal without blinking”.

I would often binge eat and then take laxatives to purge the food. This would put enormous stress on my body, and it was very painful.

I’m now 57 and I love eating. Especially Vietnamese food.

Eating is like a friend, as it feels so good to eat. But I’m now heading to 110 kilograms

My correct weight is supposed to be 80 kg.

My knees really hurt if I try and run. Ouch !

I look in the mirror and freak out.

I’m writing this in the hope I can moderate my food intake.

cheers, Gavin.