Quote

Quote

Lies are sweet in the beginning and Bitter in the end…

…and the Truth is Bitter in the beginning and Sweet in the end.

I recently saw a YouTube video on Gaslighting, and they said that telling lies was a form of gaslighting. This really caught my attention because I was lied to a lot as a child (but also as an adult), by my family.

If I remember these events, I feel very very angry, so need to be careful with what I think about and what I replay in my head.

For me I find this behavior VERY aggressive, particularly when it is done by a family member because it was done to me over and over and over.

The other one that triggers me a lot is passive aggressive behavior. There is someone I know who does this to perfection.

Yesterday I asked if we could make a time to catch up. She said: “if I’m awake, I will answer the call. If I’m asleep, I won’t answer.

She said nothing about what I actually asked for, which was a convenient time to catch up.

Funny enough I know this person really well and understand where the behavior comes from, so I understand why she does this.

What ends up happening is I end up blocking this person, so I don’t end up getting really angry, over and over.

I’m actually a very intelligent man……but because of my psychiatric disability I’m very isolated. Gavin.

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12 Passive Aggressive Tactics Covert Narcissists Love to Use

Tactic #1. General lifestyle non-cooperation.

Tactic #2. Expressing a desire to help, yet becoming sidetracked.

Tactic #3. Responding to confrontations with perplexion.

Tactic #4. Telling you what to do via questions.

Tactic #5. Playing the role of the victim.

Tactic #6. Running a smear campaign behind your back.

Tactic #7. Paying you a compliment while also complaining.

Tactic #8. Not including you in activities.

Tactic #9. Brazenly ignoring you, then feigning innocence.

Tactic #10. Holding onto a moral high ground, but passing judgment.

Tactic #11. The classic silent treatment.

Tactic #12. Appearing willing to please, yet holding grudges.

Video

10 Signs Your Childhood Was More Emotionally Damaging Than You Think

00:00 Intro

00:50 Sign 1: Nothing Bad Enough to Explain How You Feel

02:00 Sign 2: Inside Jokes About What Hurt You Most

03:10 Sign 3: Provided For, But Not Seen

04:20 Sign 4: The Unspoken No-Talking Rule

05:30 Sign 5: Some Feelings Allowed, Others Punished

06:40 Sign 6: You Stopped Trusting Your Own Memory

07:55 Sign 7: You Became Who They Needed

09:00 Sign 8: “So Mature for Your Age”

10:10 Sign 9: Calm Makes You Nervous, Not Safe

11:20 Sign 10: Everyone Outside Thought You Were Fine

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Jerry Wise is brilliant. His work is so important. Gavin.

Don’t be an emotional reaction – be a person

This quote is one that has helped me throughout my life.

I didn’t have a good education, and I my family life was full on alcoholism, aggression (domestic violence), denial (lots of lies) and a lack of love and care for us kids.

My father was an emotional reaction – not a person. He would get very angry at the drop on a hat.

This had us all very fearful of him…and I was never really able to really feel safe.

Keep your intense reactions for the bigger issues of life
(which day-to-day living does not provide)

It wasn’t until 2003 when I got sober from sex drugs and alcohol that I started to really learn stuff and work on my emotional intelligence and also my interest in thigs other than sex drugs and rock and roll.

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When we constantly react to things, the habit becomes a habit.

The more we react the more we will feel the emotional sharpness.

DO YOU ABUSE YOUR EMOTIONAL SYSTEM?

• over-reacting in a wholesale fashion;

• living by misplaced importance;

• devaluing your emotional currency;

• destroying your inner peace;

• making life unreasonably hard for those close to you;

• alienating friendship.

I did this with anger. So the slightest upset, my anger would kick in hard and I would feel it sharply. Took me years to get out of this habit, as it had been in place since I was a child.

I currently have a neighbor that reacts to my TV when I have my front door open. The more he unconsciously reacts by slamming his door, the more he feels the emotion. By doing the slamming the emotion is reenforced, and more the sharp feelings are felt (Rinse and Repeat).

It’s a bit like being stuck on a hamster wheel.

Awareness is the key to making changes for a better life.

Gavin.

touch wood

Hi All.

Doing well at the moment hence the ‘touch wood’ thing because I hope I don’t jinx it.

All the other sayings like: ‘be careful what you wish for’ and all that stuff has meaning because when things get better old habits can return and some of those things and behaviors can be not so good.

I’m a FULL-BLOWN addict. I’ve had addiction behaviors since I was about seven years old, and they just got worse and worse as I got older. What I notice is that when things are going bad my addiction stuff is suppressed. All the negative energy overrides the addictions.

It’s only been about three weeks since things have improved but my thinking has recently changed, so much so that some of my addictive stuff has returned. Nothing serious, but enough to really notice the change.

One of the many things that has been so good is…I’ve gotten so much done at home. Some stuff I’d been putting off for four years. So, my home is looking amazing. Still more to do, but I’m so grateful all that I’ve achieved in the last three weeks. G.

What about you? Is change something you are wherry of?