Throughout my life I’ve attracted bullies. My first experience was my father and then also my sisters. My mother didn’t bully me but she never ever stood up for me to prevent it happening. Then in school the bullying and teasing started and it just got worse and worse. Then the towns people started to bully me (I lived in a small town).

I ran away from home at age 16 but the bullying never really stopped, it just kept coming up in my life.

I’m now 60 years old and I’m still attracting bullies in my life, but now I have violent thoughts about the people who pick on me. I call this spiralling (down) or doom spiralling.

This behaviour (thinking) is truly horrendous as it takes me to a very dark emotional place.

People will see me from the other side of the room, train, road, library etc. and will say or do something to bully me.

I also get staff in shops treating me badly. It’s the same behaviour just in a shop environment. I’ve had people ignore me or even argue with me about stuff. Unfortunately, this happens to me a lot more than other people.

I get it: I look like a pussy, a victim, an easy tease…

In reality I’ve have a surprisingly violent past, but that doesn’t stop them.

I’ve had people stalk me because I have the victim vibe.

I’ve been a victim of crime over a three and a half years. The police kept saying to me: “You know you are allowed to defend yourself”. What I couldn’t tell them was; if I did defend myself I’d end up in jail.

The reason I’m blogging this is I’ve had four incidents of bullying in the last two weeks. G