Nothing upstairs

Yesterday I was singing…

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are grey

You’ll never know dear how much I love you

Then continued singing…

Please don’t take my sunshine away.

Upon hearing myself sing: “Please don’t take my sunshine away”

I burst into tears.

This symptom is connected to the fact that there is very little going on in my head. I don’t mean that in a good way.

January, February and March of 2022 I was very unwell, both suicidal and physically unwell. I had many visits to hospital (mostly emergency). Spent four weeks in a psychiatric hospital also.

I was so close to death…it was very frightening.

It’s now been twelve months since all that happened and I’m very much not with it, and nothing going on upstairs.

I have NO motivation at all. I don’t want to take photos. I’m not interested in anything. I don’t want to exercise. I’m really not interested in other people (which scares the hell out of me).

My current likes are: sleeping and eating (getting very fat now).

I will sleep twelve hours a day and spend the rest of the time eating.

Last year’s terrible difficulties and illness seems to have taken a BIG toll on my mind and Spirit.

It’s like I FDISK’d my hard drive (reformatted my brain), and I’m left with a Windows 98 operating system !!!

Awareness of this huge problem is my first step in recovery. The second will be to address the problem with plenty of action. I say action because my brain is not working at all.