Neurotic means you’re afflicted by neurosis, a word that has been in use since the 1700s to describe mental, emotional, or physical reactions that are drastic and irrational. At its root, a neurotic behavior is an automatic, unconscious effort to manage deep anxiety.
1. Revealing the facts.
2. Honestly experiencing feelings and thoughts.
3. Demythologizing yourself.
Ever since they shut all the libraries and all the churches, I’ve been experiencing depression.
The libraries were my sanctuary, and church was my community.
The depression has gotten worse and worse since that time, somewhere in March 2020.
Now I’m finding it difficult to do anything, so I find myself sitting in the park with the birds and the flowers for hours…
I’ve reread Victor Frankel’s ‘man’s search for meaning’ twice…just to get a different perspective of this endless apathy and heaviness.
I cope better with anxiety than I do with depression. Somehow I can manage anxiety better….but with depression I lack the resources to deal with it. Cope with it.
In terms of the plague, Australia is doing really well in stopping the spread, but that information doesn’t help me while I’m depressed.
“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how.” – Friedrich Nietzsche.
Frankel’s ‘will to meaning’ is both the problem and the solution. I see no meaning in my suffering with heavy depression, but need to find meaning in my suffering.
He says, this is imperative!
Sometimes that can be, just to get through the day, hour or minute. It also means to do it with dignity and respect for myself and others. The ‘higher’ meaning includes God and a surrender to ‘what is’, and accept fully my situation.
The plague is constantly in the news, which doesn’t help. The Spanish flu in 1918 did not get reported like things are done today, so I’m sure people would have been less anxious and more accepting, as they didn’t have all the mass media bombarding them. One is overwhelmed by news in 2020.
Like Hitler, the president used the word lies to mean statements of fact not to his liking, and presented journalism as a campaign against himself. The president was on friendlier terms with the internet, his source for erroneous information that he passed on to millions of people.
I’ve been finding myself with very low motivation of late. Even taking photos has been very difficult to do…
…not only does one have to take photos…
…but then one has to process them…
…and then upload them…
…all too much effort!
this all could be a symptom of depression…
…and depression has been the ‘black dog’ that has been with me since I was 18.
I recently did three weeks of house-sitting. (Dog and a cat). The whole time I felt really bad, and very flat. I was expecting it to be a very pleasant time away from my home, and quality time with the animals. But my experience was the opposite. Very distressing.
Also I recently (last weekend) had a gastroenteritis problem, and ended up in the emergency ward of my local hospital…
Now this has me feeling very unsure about food, and eating food.
That was my second hospitalization, as about a month ago, I had a major panic attack, and ended up in an ambulance and then hospital. No good!
All i want to do is sit on my couch and drink red wine, eat corn chips, and watch TV shows.
I have finally gotten a copy of ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’, as an ‘audio book’, and finished reading it today. I will be reading it again and again, as it’s so good.
“If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.”
― Viktor Frankl
“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.”
― Viktor E. Frankl
He says: Instead of constantly trying to avoid suffering, one is to embrace it. This takes away it’s power over us.
He says this about all our neurotic behaviour. Go towards it, and it will dissipate.
This make a lot of sense. I need to be brave, to do this.
His story and his book, are a huge inspiration for me.