Чорнобиль – April 26th, 1986

Today is the anniversary of the Chernobyl disaster.


Two workers from the reactor four. Valery Ilyich Khodemchuk died immediately after the explosion. Body never found, likely buried under the wreckage of the steam separator drums. The other. Vladimir Nikolaevich Shashenok. Found unconscious and pinned down under a fallen beam, with broken spine, broken ribs, deep thermal and radiation burns. He died in the hospital without regaining consciousness. Compounded by a lethal dose of radiation.

Twenty nine fire fighters. They were called to the Chernobyl reactor no 4. They were not told how dangerously radioactive the smoke and the debris were, and may not even have known that the accident was anything more than a regular electrical fire: “We didn’t know it was the reactor. No one had told us.” They all died soon after.

Three divers. Valeri Bezpalov, Alexie Ananenko and Boris Baranov. The Chernobyl divers had the task of draining the pool of water that was located beneath the reactor. The only way of opening the pool and draining it was to dive into the radioactive water and open the gates.

8,328 liquidators were sent onto the roof of reactor four to remove highly radio active graphite and debris. Also the liquidators did a lot of cleaning up after the disaster, including the towns in the exclusion zone.


Soviet military badge and medal awarded to liquidators.

Four died in a single helicopter accident. Nikolai Aleksandrovich Hanzhuk, Leonid Ivanovych Khrystych, Volodymyr Kostyantynovych Vorobyov and Oleksandr Yevhenovych Yunhkind.

Looters moved in as soon as the residents of Pripyat (and other towns in the exclusion zone) had moved out. They heavily looted the city.

It’s actually quite difficult to get accurate information, due to the constant suppression of information. i.e. one article said that liquid nitrogen was pumped into tunnel underneath the reactor. This never happened, even though it was planned.
Cement ended up being what was pumped in the tunnel to stop the reactor core from burning through to the underground water system. This was done to prevent a catastrophic explosion what would have killed tens of millions of people.

I’ve spent tens of hours sifting through information and video footage trying to get the facts. The numbers of people who died have been suppressed to this day, so it’s difficult to get accurate data.



If not now… when ?

– Eckhart Tolle

This is one of many Eckhart quotes i love…and is very appropriate for my current situation.

I have metabolic syndrome, and my doctor said i need to loose, (at minimum) 20 kilograms.

A while back i tried eating only salads for six months and didn’t loose any weight at all. This was very frustrating, so I gave up once again.

This time i’m more motivated for some reason…so i’m committed to loosing the weight.

Currently I’m three days fasting, and then, three days of food.

Once i start loosing weight I can change to two days fasting and five days food.

The key is NOT to overeat during the ‘food’ days. This is the most important thing.

Today is day nine, and i’m already feeling better (not bloated).



Just-world Hypothesis

I’ve been studying up on the ‘Just-world’ theory, and found this article. Very interesting…

The just-world phenomenon is the tendency to believe that the world is just and that people get what they deserve. Because people want to believe that the world is fair, they will look for ways to explain or rationalize away injustice, often blaming the person in a situation who is actually the victim.

The just-world phenomenon helps explain why people sometimes blame victims for their own misfortune, even in situations where people had no control over the events that have befallen them.

Just-World Theory and Victim-Blaming
The just-world theory posits that when people do fall victim to misfortune, others tend to look for things that might explain their circumstances. In other words, people have an automatic tendency to look for something or someone to blame for unfortunate events. But rather than simply attributing a bad turn of events to bad luck, people tend to look at the individual’s behavior as a source of blame.

Conversely, this belief also leads people to think that when good things happen to people it is because those individuals are good and deserving of their happy fortune. Because of this, people who are extremely fortunate are often seen as more deserving of their good luck. Rather than attributing their success to luck or circumstance, people tend to ascribe their fortune to intrinsic characteristics of the individual. These people are often seen as being more intelligent and hard-working than less fortunate people.

The classic example of this tendency is found in the book of Job in the Bible. In the text, Job suffers a series of terrible calamities and at one point his former friend suggests that Job must have done something terrible to have deserved his misfortunes.

More modern examples of the just-world phenomenon can be seen in many places. Victims of sexual assault are often blamed for their attack, as others suggest that it was the victims own behavior that caused the assault.

Explanations for the Just-World Phenomenon
So why does the just-world phenomenon happen? There are a few different explanations that have been proposed to explain it:

  • The fear of facing vulnerability. People do not like to think about themselves being the victims of a violent crime. So when they hear about an event such as an assault or a rape, they may try to assign blame for the event on the victim’s behavior. This allows people to believe they can avoid being victims of crime just by avoiding past victims’ behaviors.
  • A desire to minimize anxiety. Another possible explanation for the just-world phenomenon is that people want to reduce the anxiety that is caused by the world’s injustices. Believing that the individual is completely responsible for their misfortune, people are able to go on believing that the world is fair and just.
    Pros and Cons
    The just-world phenomenon does have some benefits. Like other types of cognitive bias, this phenomenon protects self-esteem, helps control fear, and allows people to remain optimistic about the world.

Obviously, this tendency also has some major downsides. By blaming victims, people fail to see how the situation and other variables contributed to another person’s misfortunes. Instead of expressing empathy, the just-world phenomenon sometimes causes people to be disinterested or even scorn troubled individuals.

A Word From Verywell
The just world phenomenon might explain why people sometimes fail to help or feel compassion for the homeless, for addicts, or for victims of violence. By blaming them for their own misfortunes, people protect their view of the world as a safe and fair place, but at a significant cost to those in need.

This cognitive bias can be difficult to overcome, but being aware of it can help. When making attributions, focus on looking at all elements of the situation. This includes accounting for a person’s behavior as well as things such as environmental factors, societal pressures, and cultural expectations.



Splendour in the Grass

What though the radiance
which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass,
of glory in the flower,
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.

– William Wordsworth

terrorist attack in New Zealand

Yesterday afternoon i was watching TV and the news suddenly came on about a terrorist attack in Christchurch. 50 people were innocently shot in two Mosques by one man. And 48 people had been injured. Since it had just happened the only footage was of multiple ambulances arriving at emergency hospital.

I had to ‘pinch’ myself to realize this wasn’t America, or some horrendous suicide bombing in Syria.

Christchurch was devastated by earthquakes in 2011. And now this.

I was particularly impressed by the Prime Minister of New Zealand, and how she used all the right words to express herself.


little goat

i was scared of you from the word ‘go’
you didn’t see me, but you used me as your special little goat
i hid in a makeshift house that followed me from room to room
i was spider-man
swinging from veranda to clothesline

you took away my innocents
you used me for your pleasure
without my consent
you said: “you must not tell anyone”.

from age to teens
you chose me to hate
i hide among the weeds
skipping school, to stare up at the blue sky
the mice were my only friends

when i escaped, i was in a state of pure ecstasy
free from violence, free from hatred
i danced all night
i slept by day, under the palm tree
i was free…

then my demons returned to roost among the pigeons
you tracked me down
to use me again for your own pain
i never went back to live
my neck was frozen
i could not move

i lived a dream of body narcissism
day by day
i stole what i thought was mine

you came along
like a God
you took me in your arms
at last i was loved
and so was my body

when you left i died
then i woke with fierce determination
to learn about the world
to find peace
to find the now
to find God
to find new friends
to find film and history

through crazy eyes
you stalked me to end of the earth
i was shattered
tried hard to stay afloat
dying inside

her i am
standing in front of you
my image machine
finding joy once more
the lens is my new friend
i found art once more
the tree had grown tall…
leading my life back to the soil