words

Worth. A movie about compensation for the families that lost loved ones in the 9/11 disaster

In the movie 

Worth, the line “Remember that you’re not the bridge” is spoken by Charles Wolf (played by Stanley Tucci) to Kenneth Feinberg (Michael Keaton) during a pivotal moment of self-doubt. 

The phrase carries a deep metaphorical meaning regarding empathy and the burden of fixing a broken system: 

  • You Are Not the Solution Alone: Wolf uses the metaphor to remind Feinberg that he is not the structure connecting the victims to their peace or the past to the future. The “bridge” (the legal formula and the fund) is fundamentally broken—or as Wolf later says, it is “rubble“—and Feinberg cannot hold it up by sheer force of will or logic.
  • Release from Impossible Responsibility: Feinberg is struggling with the realization that his rigid formula cannot account for the unique value of every life lost. By saying “you’re not the bridge,” Wolf is telling him to stop trying to be the perfect, unbreakable link between the government and the victims. It encourages him to stop being a “numbers cruncher” and start being a human being.
  • Human Connection Over Bureaucracy: The advice signals a shift in the film’s philosophy. It suggests that while the “bridge” (the fund) may be flawed or destroyed, the people involved—the “rubble”—are still there. It’s an invitation for Feinberg to step off his professional pedestal and simply walk among the survivors, listening to them rather than trying to “fix” their grief with a calculator. 

Ultimately, the quote serves as the catalyst for Feinberg’s redemption arc, moving him from a rules-driven attorney to a compassionate humanitarian who understands that some things cannot be fully mended, only witnessed. 

I know I will be able to use this saying to help me in the future. It also reminds me of: ‘Carry the message, not the person’ which is a little bit similar. G

Summertime Love

Summer is my favorite time of the year. It’s time for shorts, flipflops and singlets.

The majority of people who live here don’t like Summer because it can get very hot here. But I would prefer that to Winter any day.

Flip-flops

I suffer from hyperhidrosis so I’m constantly wet all year round. So Summer is very nice because I’m wet but not cold.

Winter I’m retracted and in Summer I’m relaxed. G

Video

Empowering Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse

if you get the time this is a very good video about males who are sexually abused as children.

for me it was very confusing because I didn’t know what was happening to me. The effect has been lifechanging for the bad. There was also a lot of shame (because I was male) that it happened to me, so I ended up hating myself. Therapy has helped. Also hearing from other men about their experiences has also helped. Gavin.

Quote

there are no perfect victims

This quote is very important to me because of my history of being a victim as both a child and an adult.

For a vast amount of time, I saw myself as a perfect victim. Not just innocent but very special because of what happened to me. This specialness meant that I was not responsible for anything that happened to me.

The reality:

  • Anyone can be a victim of sexual abuse.
  • Anyone can perpetrate sexual abuse.
  • The only person responsible for the abuse is the perpetrator.
  • We are all accountable for proactive prevention and how we respond to victims and perpetrators.
  • There is no ‘right way’ to heal or a ‘correct’ response to experiencing sexual abuse.
  • Every survivor and circumstance is unique.‍

Coming out of denial was rather painful because I had to see myself as I really was. Flawed and imperfect.

I see this in online catfish incidents that end up on Netflix. Some of these people see themselves as perfect victims, when in reality they also play a part in the role. Sometimes a big part in that role.

One of the biggest lessons I had to learn in my life was: If I’m over 18 I am responsible for myself and how I feel. All of it.

It sounds a lot easier than it is in reality. G.

We are hard wired to see the bad in our lives

Last night I was desperately trying to focus on anything other than the bad experience I had earlier in the day. I could change focus for a short while then back to the bad.

The reason we are hard wired, is so we could survive the tiger waiting in the bushes, ready to attack and eat us.

We are hard wired to SEE the tiger, so we can escape it. This is VERY important. Without it we would be tiger breakfast.

Residential people are able to choose what they focus thier attention on.

Eventually I was able to shift my focus, but I took a while.

Gavin.

Benefit finding

Benefit finding in psychology refers to the positive psychological changes or benefits that individuals perceive after experiencing a challenging or stressful life event. It’s a coping mechanism where individuals actively seek and find positive aspects or growth opportunities within difficult situations.

“Don’t loose what you have, to what you have lost”

Gavin.