words

sayings and origins

One-Trick Pony

noun

a person or thing with only one special feature, talent, or area of expertise.

Some word experts say the idiom “one-trick pony” comes from the circus. A circus pony that can only do one trick is not going to entertain a crowd for very long. The term “one-trick pony” appeared around the turn of the twentieth century. Within about fifty years, the term had become an idiom.

Away with the Pixies

informal•British English

(see also: away with the fairies)

distracted, in a dreamworld, or out of touch with reality.

“you seem away with the pixies, are you listening?”

Pixies are: playfully impish or mischievous, prankish. 

pixie mood; a pixie sense of humor.

The origin of the phrase “away with the pixies” is unclear, but it relates to the folklore of pixies, which dates back to Celtic Britain and is particularly prominent in Southwest England. The idiom, used to describe someone mentally absent or flighty, suggests a connection to fairies taking or captivating people’s minds in folklore. While the phrase isn’t directly from a single source, it draws on the folk belief that pixies were mischievous entities capable of robbing people of their wits, as seen in stories and folklore. 

Enen a trained Monkey can do that

We need to be careful that we don’t offend the monkey community while explaining this one.

To all monkeys past and present, we honour you.

It would be phrased as such largely because the person doing it wouldn’t require much intelligence nor oversight – and likely the connotation that the person would also be paid peanuts. Not literally, of course.

All of this imagery is made to offend deliberately, and to derogate those who take these types of jobs.

avoidance – what we know now

I’ve met many people with anxiety (Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), panic disorder, and social anxiety disorder) and it’s a very real issue facing people today.

But if you want to make your anxiety worse: go out of your way to avoid it. ‘Avoidance behaviors’ have the ability to amplify your problem, no matter what it is.

I know this because I have PTSD and anyone with PTSD knows that we have an elaborate list of ways we avoid stuff. The list is long. Here are just a few…

  • excessive sleeping
  • alcohol/drugs
  • binge watching TV shows and movies
  • obsessive cleaning
  • overeating

What happens when we do our avoidance stuff, we actually re-enforce the anxiety.

Each time you do the avoidance behavior the anxiety says:

YES! confirmed!

Thank you.

Now I will bring on more anxiety…

…and the cycle just repeats and repeats, sometimes for years or even decades.

The way out of the cycle is to go toward the anxiety (only if it is safe to do so). Going toward the thing you fear is the best way to take away its energy. When this becomes your healthy habit things change significantly.

The opposite of an error is usually the opposite error. – (The Grow Program).

I really wish that someone had told me these lessons. I’m sure life you have been a lot better for me.

Resilient people know that suffering is part of life. Trying to avoid suffering only makes suffering worse. Accept it and move forward, instead of going backwards avoiding all the stuff you find unpleasant.

Gavin.

Quote

there are no perfect victims

This quote is very important to me because of my history of being a victim as both a child and an adult.

For a vast amount of time, I saw myself as a perfect victim. Not just innocent but very special because of what happened to me. This specialness meant that I was not responsible for anything that happened to me.

The reality:

  • Anyone can be a victim of sexual abuse.
  • Anyone can perpetrate sexual abuse.
  • The only person responsible for the abuse is the perpetrator.
  • We are all accountable for proactive prevention and how we respond to victims and perpetrators.
  • There is no ‘right way’ to heal or a ‘correct’ response to experiencing sexual abuse.
  • Every survivor and circumstance is unique.‍

Coming out of denial was rather painful because I had to see myself as I really was. Flawed and imperfect.

I see this in online catfish incidents that end up on Netflix. Some of these people see themselves as perfect victims, when in reality they also play a part in the role. Sometimes a big part in that role.

One of the biggest lessons I had to learn in my life was: If I’m over 18 I am responsible for myself and how I feel. All of it.

It sounds a lot easier than it is in reality. G.

We are hard wired to see the bad in our lives

Last night I was desperately trying to focus on anything other than the bad experience I had earlier in the day. I could change focus for a short while then back to the bad.

The reason we are hard wired, is so we could survive the tiger waiting in the bushes, ready to attack and eat us.

We are hard wired to SEE the tiger, so we can escape it. This is VERY important. Without it we would be tiger breakfast.

Residential people are able to choose what they focus thier attention on.

Eventually I was able to shift my focus, but I took a while.

Gavin.

Benefit finding

Benefit finding in psychology refers to the positive psychological changes or benefits that individuals perceive after experiencing a challenging or stressful life event. It’s a coping mechanism where individuals actively seek and find positive aspects or growth opportunities within difficult situations.

“Don’t loose what you have, to what you have lost”

Gavin.

Quote

“The surest way to work up a crusade in favour of some good cause is to promise people they will have a chance of maltreating someone. To be able to destroy with good conscience, to be able to behave badly and call your bad behaviour ‘righteous indignation’ — this is the height of psychological luxury, the most delicious of moral treats.” 

 – Aldous Huxley

The mind

“The harder the mind struggles to get rid of the pain, the greater the pain. 
The mind can never find the solution, nor can it afford to allow you to find the solution, because it is itself an intrinsic part of the ‘problem.’ 

Imagine a chief of police trying to find an arsonist when the arsonist is the chief of police. 

You will not be free of that pain until you cease to derive your sense of self from identification with the mind,
which is to say from ego.” 

~ Eckhart Tolle

Hi All.

Sorry I’ve not been around much lately. Been focusing on music, which is my passion.

This quote from Eckhart is one of my favourites. Identification with your thoughts is the great trap of our century.

My thoughts are not who I am. This is the great freedom to be had…

Not easy, but it is essentially the path to peace.

Gavin.

love and truth

The concepts of love and truth don’t always seem to sit together comfortably: sometimes it seems like the pursuit of truth requires us to sacrifice love, and other times, we might feel that to pursue love is to sacrifice the truth. Most of us feel this tension at times. But for Benedict, this was a false choice. Love and truth are inseparable, he said, and a society that sacrifices truth also sacrifices love.

‘Only in truth does charity shine forth, only in truth can charity be authentically lived. Truth is the light that gives meaning and value to charity … it grasps its meaning as gift, acceptance, and communion. Without truth, charity degenerates into sentimentality. Love becomes an empty shell, to be filled in an arbitrary way. In a culture without truth, this is the fatal risk facing love [my emphasis]. It falls prey to contingent subjective emotions and opinions, the word ‘love’ is abused and distorted, to the point where it comes to mean the opposite’ (Caritas in Veritatei, §3).

The deepest craving of the human heart is to love and be loved. But if we give up on truth, we give up on something else we hold precious, something that defines our very existence: love itself.