words

back to the beginning

(This photo of a chimney was one of my first photos. I loved it so much I had it printed and framed. It hung in my bathroom until 2022. )

The story of how I got interested in photography was:

I was experiencing being a victim of crime and I needed to be getting evidence, every time I went to the police to report each incident.  I was using my phone to take photos and the images were very much crap. One day I was in Dick Smiths and I saw a little camera (FinePix J10), on sale for $100 and something dollars, so I bought it in the intention to get better photos for the police.

Version 1.0.0

I started to use the camera for other things besides evidence and soon realised I enjoyed using it and I wasn’t half bad at taking photos.

To my surprise early on I got published by Apple for one of their apps. This is the photo…

I had a friend who was encouraging me and that really got me fired up. When I stated I was really into HDR. This was excellent for the abstract photos, but not so good for other stuff. I joined Flickr in 2009. My taste has changed a lot over the years. Bill Baldridge was one of the first persons I followed on Flickr. I still love the process of what my mind does when I think about when ‘seeing a photo’, and the satisfying ‘click’ that follows. Gavin.

stobie corrugated
Flickr

what photography means to me

I really think that anyone can take a photo of something…

i.e. a bunny

or a bird…

these are both excellent photos of a bunny and a bird but for me it’s not really photography.

let me explain

I remember watching this amazing nature photographer talk about this issue when he said: “anyone can take a picture of a polar bear, but it’s just a static image, no context”. In order to have a compelling image the bear needs to have some interesting context.

From day one I didn’t want to be just taking photos of ‘things’ I wanted to make ‘art’.

I watched a Netflix show about these people doing scary stuff on the top of very high buildings. skywalkers

When he meets a girl doing similar stuff, they end up meeting and falling in love. He says: “I was just taking photos of myself on the top of buildings, but when I met her, she was making art”.

Since the advent of mobile phones, everyone is now a photographer, and the need for professional photography is no longer needed. I’m not a purist at all, but I used to be when I first started. Now I like Instagram just as much as the next person.

Gavin.

letting go

“The crucial point is: by changing ourselves, we change the world. As we become more loving on the inside, healing occurs on the outside. Much like the rising of the sea level lifts all ships, so the radiance of unconditional love within a human heart lifts all of life.”
― David R. Hawkins

You won’t believe it, but I bought a new book.

I have not read a book in many years, and I’m going to make the effort. G

Chronic epididymitis (Men’s problems)

I’ve had Chronic epididymitis for approximately 20 years now.

The pain is very similar to being kicked in the balls. I’ve dealt with the pain (usually once a week, with masturbation) to relive the buildup of sperm fluid. The problem is: I really HATE masturbation with a passion, as it is very painful for me. Since my mental health has improved so much, I recently decided to tackle this problem in a different way. Instead of waiting the end of every week (when the pain is unbearable), I’ve decided to put up with a smaller amount of pain every day. So far this is working, and I’m really noticing a huge difference in my wellbeing. I just hope this continues to work. Gavin.

Epididymitis is an inflammation of the coiled tube, called the epididymis, at the back of the testicle. The epididymis stores and carries sperm. Males of any age can get epididymitis.

It’s been two weeks now and I feel like I’m no longer self harming (with masturbation). Very grateful for this. G.

I’m sugar free

For me the best thing I’ve done for myself is to be off sugar.

I lived on sugar as a child. Cordial drinks after school. Sweet homemade biscuits. Dinner was always followed by dessert, and in the evening, we had sweets and chocolates. This was every day!

Then as an adult, chocolate was one of the three food groups. Red wine, Coffee and Chocolate. I would buy it in bulk. Seven 250-gram blocks at a time. I would often eat two of these a day. That’s 500 grams of chocolate !!!

I’m now 58 and I’m overweight. So being sugar free is the key to feeling really good. It’s like being a different person!

When I eat sugar, I feel sluggish, bloated and fuzzy in the head. Sugar gives me a false sense of peace, just like alcohol does. Being sugar free takes courage but very much worth it 100%

Gavin.

five traumas

trauma

noun1.

a deeply distressing or disturbing 

experience.”

a personal trauma like the death of a child”

2.MEDICINEphysical injury.”rupture of the diaphragm caused by blunt trauma”

1.Childhood sexual abuse. 6 to 9.
2. Domestic violence. First 16 years.
3. Being bashed and raped. Age 19.
4. Being relentlessly stalked. 2007 to 2010. Three and a half years.
5. Neighbour from hell. 2013 to 2022. Eight and a half years.

    As you can see if you add up all the years of trauma, there is a vast chunk of my life spent in trauma and abuse.

    The cost has mostly been on my mental health.

    Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Depression and more recently Bipolar 2.

    At the moment my biggest issues are isolation. Lack of exercise and a need to regulate my diet. Getting there slowly. I have stopped drinking altogether which is excellent…and it also saves me a lot of money. Nightmares are a constant issue, but I’ve been having them since I was four, so used to dealing with them.

    Grow has helped me a lot over the years.

    Whatever the level of disorder or other limitations in my life,
    my existing situation can be constantly improved by good
    habits of thinking and acting and cooperation with help.

    Gavin.

    my father’s hand

    my father had a very bad case of Dupuytren’s contracture, which made his hands painful and curled.

    interestingly I have developed the same condition on my right hand.

    Dupuytren disease is genetic. It runs in families.

    it is also known as Viking’s disease.

    As the disease progresses, affected individuals may experience difficulty extending their fingers fully. This can make it challenging to perform everyday tasks such as gripping objects, typing, or buttoning clothes.

    anyway, my father had it, and I’ve got it. It’s only going to get worse… so that’s life.

    Dupuytren’s contracture