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Netflix – Murder of Gabriel Fernandez

This may sound a bit odd but there are things I think everyone should watch.

This six-part series is one of them, that I feel everyone should watch, even though it is truly horrific.

I had no idea that another human could do this to a child. I’m still trying to recover from seeing it. I think it will stay with me forever. In my heart I will remember Gabriel every day.

My first memories of my life were being scared of my parents, but Gabriel must have been completely terrified of his mother and her boyfriend. He was so terrified that he wrote letters say he was going to kill himself.

https://www.netflix.com/au/title/80220207

Some of the show I wasn’t able to watch so I skipped through those bits. The mother’s testimony being one of the things I could NOT watch.

romance scam series on Netflix love rats

I watched this show with compassion and empathy as much as I could.

I’ve been in love before and the feelings I felt were VERY intense and felt the other person loved me. It was a really enjoyable time of my life. It lasted for almost three years, so it was significant.

But no matter how much I love someone (family or significant other), I would never give anyone thousands of pounds.

The most I’ve ever given anyone was $550 and this person was a friend, not a lover. But today I would not give money to other people.

Feelings are not facts.

My feelings can be stirred as much by imagined as by real causes. Feelings are an emotional reaction to a thought, belief, or perception of a factual situation. By definition they are not facts. (Grow-Mental Health 12 step program).

This is the part of the TV program that really upset me. These people (men and women) were going by their feelings only. They really had no objectiveness about what they were doing.

When it comes to romance behaviors, I have always been very suspicious of romance behaviors. A lot of the time the person doing the romancing, are doing it to try and control another person or to get something from that person.

If someone does something kind towards another without any strings attached, I am more than happy for that to happen. My ex would buy me a bag of chocolate honeycombe. This was a caring and welcome act.

The only thing I felt controlled by, was the sex. The sex was really good, and this had strong effect on me. So, I really lost my objectivity around the sexual part of our relationship.

I’ve been scammed before. YouTube ads worked on me, and I bought things that didn’t work, or they weren’t what they were saying. I felt stupid when it happened.

The people on the TV show hand over a lot of money to these romance scammers. They all said: “well, I love you, so I must trust you”. I understood what they were saying but it didn’t add up. 2 plus 2 is not 22.

For me my feelings can be very intense, but these feelings they are never facts. The feelings will pass eventually.

Feelings are like the weather. They are, in fact, a sort of internal weather. I just have to go on living through its changes as I do with the weather outside – and the bad weather can’t last. (Grow-Mental Health 12 step program).

Gavin.

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it’s official…I now have chronic wrist pain.

When I was 16, I had a motorbike accident. Right shoulder, both wrists and both knees were affected.

In my mid to late 20s I started getting shoulder pain and wrist pain when working out. At the time I was also a ballroom dance teacher so had even more pressure on my right wrist, so the pain got worse.

Going to the gym was always a problem for me as the wrist would cop a lot of pressure from weightlifting. Anyway, I over the years the pain has come and gone but now it is here to stay!

Living with chronic pain wears me down emotionally, even though it’s early days with the pain being there all the time.

At the moment I’m working on using my left arm as much as possible. This helps so much.

My Aunt has been living with pain most of her adult life and I’ve learnt a lot from her.

Gavin.

Complaining as a substitute for conversation

noun

  1. the expression of dissatisfaction or annoyance about something.”his complaining has been a little bit annoying”

adjective

  1. expressing dissatisfaction or annoyance about something.”she apologized to the complaining crowd”

Literally everywhere I go women are complaining (telling a story about what someone said or did).

This is very widespread and endemic. 

Complaining reinforces victimhood…and victimhood as an identity is very harmful to one’s psyche and self-worth and self-esteem. Believe me I know as I lived as a victim for many years.

Yes. Women have had centuries of abuse and mistreatment. This stuff is very real and long lasting. The only way out is to stop complaining.

Yes. If you have a problem, ask me if you want to share it with me.

Maybe I can help but telling me a story about what someone did or said is not helping either of us.

Men do complain too but not nearly as much as women do.

I’m also writing this post to help me remember to not complain…as it does’t help me.

Gavin.

T is for D-day

Hi Folks,

As you know I got rid of my TV (my Set Top Box), many months ago to prevent myself getting involved with the current government in the USA.

This is essential because last time (2016-2020) I was obsessed with what was happening in the USA…

…so much so it effected my mental health.

So, my actions are about keeping myself sane through the difficult years ahead.

Gavin.

I’ve Been To Bali Too 

Bali is Australia’s favorite holiday destination. Tens on thousand Australian’s go there every year.

But no-one ever says: “I’m going to Indonesia”.

So, when the Bali bombings happened in 2002 I was not one bit surprised.

88 Australians died!!! Yep. This really happened.

Bali is still very much a place where people take their holidays, but still, no-one ever says: “I off to Indonesia, for a holiday”.

The greatest poem ever known

The greatest poem ever known
Is one all poets have outgrown:
The poetry, innate, untold
Of being only four years old.

Still young enough to be a part
Of Nature’s great impulsive heart,
Born comrade of bird, beast and tree
And unselfconscious as the bee-

And yet with lovely reason skilled
Each day new paradise to build
Elate explorer of each sense,
Without dismay, without pretence!

In your unstained transparent eyes
There is no conscience, no surprise:
Life’s queer conundrums you accept,
Your strange Divinity still kept…

And Life, that sets all things in rhyme,
May make you poet, too, in time–
But there were days, O tender elf,
When you were Poetry itself!

Christopher Morley

fantasy as a way of self-soothing

Fantasy was my main coping device for living in a dysfunctional family. Spiderman was one fantasy I had and would spend hours a day being Spiderman, climbing all over the veranda, making sure I wouldn’t touch the ground. Once I was sexually abused from age 6 to 9, I started to fantasy about having sex or be in sexual relationships with others. By the time I hit age 20 I was completely addicted to sexual fantasy and relationship fantasy.

I do have a relatively ‘normal’ fantasy where I have lots of money and a beautiful house and life. The only problem is that I’m still self-soothing with fantasy, instead of connecting with real people.

Gavin.