“Perfection is not a polished thing. It is often simply something that is sincerely meant.
Perfection is a job complete, praise given, a prayer heard, it can be kindness shown, thanks offered up.
Perfection is what we discover in each other–what we see reflected back…
…and if perfection alludes us –that doesn’t matter, for what we have within the moment is enough.”

call in the midwife.

anti-revenge movie

i recently watched 7 days. a revenge film with a positive message.
i don’t normally watch revenge movies because they seem so pointless.
the only thing that holds the movie together is the ‘premise’ that someone has done something really bad, and then that person has to pay for what they have done, with torcher and terrible pain.
if you take away the ‘premise’, there is just someone inflicting terrible pain and torcher to another person.


how is that good?

yes. when we experience loss, the consuming grief is unbearable.
this may have us engaging in fantasies of revenge, but this does pass with time.
you just gotta hang in there until the worst of the pain is over. sometimes that can take a while.

*´¨ )
¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ (¸.•*´¯`*•> *

so this film is not only really well made, but also shows the downside to revenge, and the inevitable degradation of the person committing the revengeful act.
This movie is not for everyone, as it deals with some very heavy issues, but it has a lot of merit for showing the negative consequences of revenge.


… on age-ing

since i turned 45, i have aged much faster than usual.

my face & neck are now showing major signs of aging. (those neck lines (at the back) are now there).

but with this has come a big difference in the way i am seen and treated in life in general.

i am less visible as i age. i am seen as less attractive. and i am treated as an older person.

*´¨ )
¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´ (¸.•*´¯`*•> *

when i was a kid, i wanted to be an adult, because my situation was so terrible.

i had no power to fight my father’s violence, because i was a kid. so i desperately wanted to be a mature adult, so i could stand my ground and protect myself.

unfortunately my psychiatric disability followed me into my adult life, and being an adult was no more fun than being a child, just different situation.
now i was fighting my own demons, instead of my family.

so getting older was no comfort.


so i’m doing my best to accept my self as i am, today…

i’ve been spending time noticing other older people and they way that others don’t even see them.
the majority of people see pensioners as ‘people not contributing’, so they have no worth.
they are people being not doing, so they have no worth.

what concerns me is that if i accept the natural & inevitable reality of aging,
do i also accept that i am also irrelevant as well??

isolation is a big part of my life too (due to my disability), not because i want to isolate.
i like being on my own, but not too much.

blogging helps so much, get stuff out, and break the isolation.
some people see the internet as people communicating less, but i see it as a gift.
the internet is a blessing.