a breakthrough

i’ve had a problem for the last eight months…

i did all i could to change it in that time.

things are a bit more settled, but the problem is still there.

the breakthrough is: that i realized that talking about it to my dear friend was making me miserable and was effecting my friendship with this man.

i’m so glad i worked this out, as it will make things between us much more positive.

to be able to discern what needs to be debriefed and what not to disclose, is a real art.
because i’ve been in 12 step groups for so long. i think it has effected me…
in that i’ve tended to blurt out what is going on in my life, even if talking about it makes me feel angry and unhappy.

discern
1. To perceive with the eyes or intellect; detect.
2. To recognize or comprehend mentally.
3. To perceive or recognize as being different or distinct; distinguish.

some things, i’m sure, are better told to a counselor or therapist (which i don’t have at the moment).

there is not much of a chance that my current problem is going to fix itself any time soon, so i will leave it to God.

in gratitude, sedge808.

my top ten most disturbing films

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man_Bites_Dog_(film) (bad/disturbing)

Man Bites Dog is my number one disturbing film. mostly because i only saw about half the film.
not sure if i will ever see the other half, as it was too disturbing for me.

2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowtown_(film) (good/disturbing)

Snowtown is my number two because i live in adelaide, south australia.
i’ve been to snowtown many times too.
i had to watch it in 20 minute intervals, it was so disturbing. not sure why it isn’t rated R.

3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irr%C3%A9versible (bad/disturbing)

Irréversible is a shocker. it starts at the end of the movie and goes backwards to the start.
the rape scene is rorriffic but the rest of the film is just as bad. i won’t be watching it for a second time.

4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eden_Lake (bad/disturbing)

Eden Lake is more of a personal disturbing film, as it is very similar to some of my own experiences.
took me ages to get over this film…particularly the ending.

5. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Human_Centipede_(First_Sequence) (good/disturbing)

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) is a shocker as it can be done (technically).
the crying in the film really got to me until i was completely freaked out.
the 2nd one is full on, but didn’t freak me as much as this one. (can’t wait for number 3).

6. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Need_to_Talk_About_Kevin_(film) (good/disturbing)

We Need to Talk About Kevin is a real shocker. can’t tell you anything about it, or i will spoil it.

7. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eraserhead (good/disturbing)

Eraserhead. as mentioned in a previous post… https://sedge808.com/2014/09/09/eraserhead/

8. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Night_of_the_Hunter_(film) (good/disturbing)

the night of the hunter. 1955 and most disturbing for anyone who has experienced childhood abuse. would you believe it’s rated ‘PG’. scarry!

9. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martyrs_(film) (good/disturbing)

Martyrs it is one of the best films i’ve ever seen. it is very disturbing, but has a point…which makes it so good.

10. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_Wrath (good/disturbing)

Day of Wrath was really disturbing for me (even though you probably won’t find it on any lists).
i’m working my way to watching it for a second time. (not there yet). i don’t want to give away the plot (in case you want to see it), but there is a scene of some one being burned at the stake.
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i’ve done quite a bit of research on this post. i’ve seen some amazing films because of it.
(aprox. 30 films).
i was surprised that most of the films i saw were available at my local library.
i watched Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sal%C3%B2,_or_the_120_Days_of_Sodom & a Serbian film http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Serbian_Film (supposed two top most disturbing films), but did not find them disturbing at all. mostly because they were not realistic at all.

shock value is nothing if not weaved in to a great story and context.

more lists…

http://www.listchallenges.com/100-most-disturbing-movies-of-all-time

http://www.imdb.com/list/ls051532178/

http://letterboxd.com/missnagini/list/the-100-99-most-disturbing-movies-of-all/