This story is rather distressing (so viewer discretion is advised).
A compelling story of a British man who was abused by his wife.
I made myself watch this as it is (for me) important. The three children in this story are witness to the horrific violence, which is most distressing. Thankfully the mother did plead guilty in the end.
During war time nostalgia was considered a serious, sometimes fatal, medical condition that included symptoms like anxiety, insomnia, and heart palpitations, and was often treated by returning the soldier home.
While today nostalgia is seen as a benign longing for the past, in the 17th to 19th centuries, it was viewed as a mental illness, particularly among soldiers, and was a precursor to later understandings of conditions like PTSD.
The longing for home and the past served as a psychological coping mechanism for soldiers facing trauma and separation from loved ones.
Historical Understanding and Treatment
A Deadly “Disease”: Originally, nostalgia was described as a physical or mental ailment, with severe cases leading to death. During the American Civil War, over 70 Union soldiers died from nostalgia, and thousands more were diagnosed with the condition.
Symptoms: Soldiers experiencing nostalgia would exhibit symptoms such as anxiety, loss of sleep, loss of appetite, and heart palpitations.
Treatment: The most effective remedy for nostalgia was to send the soldier home, as the condition was believed to be caused by an obsession with home and the longing for the past.
Connection to Trauma: Modern understanding recognizes nostalgia as a psychological response to trauma. The term was used for symptoms now associated with combat fatigue or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Nostalgia as a Coping Mechanism
Emotional Connection: Nostalgia provides a way for soldiers to maintain a connection to loved ones and a familiar past, offering comfort during the stressful and dangerous reality of war.
Motivation for Survival: For many, the desire to return home to their families became a powerful motivation for survival.
Reassurance and Relief: Reminiscing about the past can provide momentary relief from the boredom and impersonal routines of military life and offer emotional reassurance.
394263 22: (PUERTO RICO AND GERMANY OUT) A man leaps to his death from a fire and smoke filled Tower One of the World Trade Center September 11, 2001 in New York City after terrorists crashed two hijacked passenger planes into the twin towers. (Photo by Jose Jimenez/Primera Hora/Getty Images)
A liminal space is a transitional place or state of being, literally from the Latin word “limen” meaning “threshold,” that is caught between what was and what will be. These are physical spaces like empty hallways or psychological states like major life changes that evoke a complex mixture of feelings, often an unsettling blend of familiarity, nostalgia, and unease. Examples include waiting rooms, deserted parking lots, or the period of adolescence.
Crack that whip Give the past a slip Step on a crack Break your mama’s back
When a problem comes along You must whip it Before the cream sits out too long You must whip it When something’s going wrong You must whip it
Now whip it Into shape Shape it up Get straight Go forward Move ahead Try to detect it It’s not too late To whip it Whip it good
When a good time turns around You must whip it You will never live it down Unless you whip it No one gets away Until they whip it
I say whip it Whip it good I say whip it Whip it good
Crack that whip Give the past a slip Step on a crack Break your mama’s back
When a problem comes along You must whip it Before the cream sits out too long You must whip it When something’s going wrong You must whip it
Now whip it Into shape Shape it up Get straight Go forward Move ahead Try to detect it It’s not too late To whip it Into shape Shape it up Get straight Go forward Move ahead Try to detect it
This quote is very important to me because of my history of being a victim as both a child and an adult.
For a vast amount of time, I saw myself as a perfect victim. Not just innocent but very special because of what happened to me. This specialness meant that I was not responsible for anything that happened to me.
The reality:
Anyone can be a victim of sexual abuse.
Anyone can perpetrate sexual abuse.
The only person responsible for the abuse is the perpetrator.
We are all accountable for proactive prevention and how we respond to victims and perpetrators.
There is no ‘right way’ to heal or a ‘correct’ response to experiencing sexual abuse.
Every survivor and circumstance is unique.
Coming out of denial was rather painful because I had to see myself as I really was. Flawed and imperfect.
I see this in online catfish incidents that end up on Netflix. Some of these people see themselves as perfect victims, when in reality they also play a part in the role. Sometimes a big part in that role.
One of the biggest lessons I had to learn in my life was: If I’m over 18 I am responsible for myself and how I feel. All of it.