there are no perfect victims

This quote is very important to me because of my history of being a victim as both a child and an adult.

For a vast amount of time, I saw myself as a perfect victim. Not just innocent but very special because of what happened to me. This specialness meant that I was not responsible for anything that happened to me.

The reality:

• Anyone can be a victim of sexual abuse.
• Anyone can perpetrate sexual abuse.
• The only person responsible for the abuse is the perpetrator.
• We are all accountable for proactive prevention and how we respond to victims and perpetrators.
• There is no ‘right way’ to heal or a ‘correct’ response to experiencing sexual abuse.
• Every survivor and circumstance is unique.‍

Coming out of denial was rather painful because I had to see myself as I really was. Flawed and imperfect.

I see this in online catfish incidents that end up on Netflix. Some of these people see themselves as perfect victims, when in reality they also play a part in the role. Sometimes a big part in that role.

One of the biggest lessons I had to learn in my life was: If I’m over 18 I am responsible for myself and how I feel. All of it.

It sounds a lot easier than it is in reality. G.