10 of my top films

in no particular order….

Donnie Darko

“First of all, Papa Smurf didn’t create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel’s evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario – It just couldn’t happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don’t even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That’s what’s so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What’s the point of living… if you don’t have a dick?”

Shirley Valentine

“Jane divorced her husband. I never knew him, it was before I met her. Apparently she came home from work unexpectedly one morning and found him in bed with the milkman. Honest to God, the milkman ! But from that day forward I’ve noticed she never takes milk in her tea.”

2001 a space odyssey

“Look Dave, I can see you’re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.”


No blood, no Dallas, nothing. How come I don’t hear anybody say anything?
Ripley: I’m thinking! … Unless somebody has got a better idea … we’ll proceed with Dallas’ plan.
Lambert: What? And end up like the others? No … no, you’re out of your mind!
Ripley: You got a better idea?
Lambert: Yes! I say that we abandon this ship! We take the shuttle and just get the hell out of here! We take our chances and … and hope that somebody will pick us up!
Ripley: Lambert … the shuttle won’t take four.
Lambert: Well, then why don’t we draw straws and …
Parker: I’m not drawing any straws! I’m for killing that goddamn thing right now!
Ripley: Right. Well, let’s talk about killing it. We know it’s using the air shafts … will you listen to me, Parker? Shut up!
Parker: Let’s hear it. Let’s hear it.
Ripley: It’s using the air shafts.
Parker: We don’t know that.
Ripley: That’s the only way! We’ll move in pairs. We’ll go step by step and cut off every bulkhead and every vent until we have it cornered. And then we’ll blow it the fuck out into space. Is that acceptable to you?
Parker: If you think it means killing it, yeah, that’s acceptable to me.
Ripley: Obviously, it means killing it. But we have to stick together.
Ripley: Ash. Any suggestions from you or MOTHER?
Ash: No, we’re still collating.

The Exorcist

“Do you know what she did? Your cunting daughter.”

The Rocky Horror picture show

Oh, woe is me
My life is a misery
Oh, can’t you see
That I’m at the start of a pretty big downer…

American Beauty

Angela Hayes: I’m serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out. You know, like, “Say hello to Mr. Happy.”
Playground Girl #1: Gross.
Angela Hayes: It wasn’t gross. It was kinda cool.
Playground Girl #1: So did you do it with him?
Angela Hayes: Of course I did. He’s like a really well known photographer. He shoots for “Elle” on like a regular basis. It would have been so majorly stupid of me to turn him down.
Playground Girl #2: You are a total prostitute.
Angela Hayes: Hey! That’s how things really are. You just don’t know ’cause you’re this pampered little suburban chick.
Playground Girl #2: So are you. You’ve only been in “Seventeen” once and you looked fat! So stop acting like you’re goddamn Christy Turlington!
Angela Hayes: Cunt! I am so sick of people taking their insecurities out on me.

Nymphomaniac: Vol. II (2013)

[Joe screams as K is about to beat her]
K: That’s not how this goes. Most people don’t scream until I hit them.

The Evil Dead (1981)

Mulholland Drive