apathy

apathy
/ˈapəθi/
noun
  1. lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

I’ve been finding myself with very low motivation of late. Even taking photos has been very difficult to do…

…not only does one have to take photos…

…but then one has to process them…

…and then upload them…

…all too much effort!

this all could be a symptom of depression…

…and depression has been the ‘black dog’ that has been with me since I was 18.

I recently did three weeks of house-sitting. (Dog and a cat). The whole time I felt really bad, and very flat. I was expecting it to be a very pleasant time away from my home, and quality time with the animals. But my experience was the opposite. Very distressing.

Also I recently (last weekend) had a gastroenteritis problem, and ended up in the emergency ward of my local hospital…

Now this has me feeling very unsure about food, and eating food.

That was my second hospitalization, as about a month ago, I had a major panic attack, and ended up in an ambulance and then hospital. No good!

All i want to do is sit on my couch and drink red wine, eat corn chips, and watch TV shows.

It was only today when I needed to:

…buy some Christmas cards…

…write inside them…

…and then put addresses on them…

…and then post them…

I thought… maybe I’m depressed.

16 thoughts on “apathy

  1. I only “liked” this out of solidarity and support for you. I’m facing the Christmas season right now. I know I’m “supposed” to be happy….buuuuuut……meh, it has to end sometime, right? Please feel better, soon. I’m a terrific listener or so I’m told, so please use me to vent with. I care and I will miss you during my hiatus! Loves and such as, gg! Hugs, K 💖

  2. Keep writing. Keep posting. We care. Sometimes it’s difficult to stay positive during the winter months. How are you feeling today? Thanks for sharing. You are not alone. ‘Tis the season. Did you purchase a few cards? Sending big hugs, Theadora

  3. Live for yourself, what is best for yourself. People who love you will not be concerned about not getting a card. There is so much [ressure this time of year. Try to take some time out for self care, nice hot bath or meditation. I’m here for you.

  4. Don’t lose FAITH. Sometimes that is the only thing left. Stay outside the Black Box because that is where the Black Dog lives and his name is misery and misery loves company. For me, fresh air/nature and positive nature people. Went for a ride in the countryside this weekend and it got me out of the black box (had 2 good friends and my wife with me). Take Care…

  5. Pode acontecer que a falta de motivação ocorra. É claro que sem un mínimo de motivação, nada é feito, nada é criado. Mas, também acho que é perfeitamente normal sentir desânimo, às vezes. Parece que a música tem poder para motivar. Utilisa esse poder para te dar a energia necessária.
    Abraço.

Leave a Reply to Maria José Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s