this post is about my experience with bisexuality, and is just my personal experience…

I was sexually abused from age six, for three years, by a male neighbour (chronically), which affected my sexuality. from age fifteen, I experienced extreme narcissism up until age 33. Shame was,and is still a big part of my make up. abuse produces shame of a monumental scale. the gender dysphoria was with me up until age 33. this effected the way I spoke, the way I dressed and also in my mannerisms and behaviour.

after age 33 I had a massive breakdown, and I changed in every way. narcissism was no longer effecting me, I became sexually interested in women, and my voice and appearance has also changed considerably since then.

narcissism -excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one’s physical appearance. psychology: extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type. Psychoanalysis: self-centredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder.

shame – a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour.

gender dysphoria – the condition of feeling one’s emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one’s biological sex.

homosexuality and narcissism are one and the same. I still haven’t me a gay man who wasn’t effected by narcissism.

shame is also connected to homosexuality, as many men were shamed for not being ‘manly enough’ etc. etc.

But as far as gender dysphoria goes, I’ve found that bisexual men don’t experience this as much as gay men do. that being said I’ve known men who have ‘come out’ in their late 40’s and their behaviour can change to that described as gender dysphoria. one man I knew started carrying an ‘man bag’ with him wherever he went. changed his way of dressing to a ‘metrosexual’ and began speaking like a ay man. i.e. “he is a gorgeous guy” etc.

as I said: this is just my personal experience…




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