food is not my friend

I’ve had an eating disorder since I was 16…(when I left home).

consists of ‘binge eating’ or ‘compulsive overeating’.

there have only been two periods in my life when my body mass index BMI

has been ok.

  1. when I was on a strict macrobiotic diet , for a year.
  2. was when I was a fitness instructor, in my mid twenties and early thirties.

the rest of the time I’ve been overweight.

eating disorder

I’ve had periods of bulimia in my twenties (binging and then purging). these periods have been very extreme and unhealthy.

so when I say ‘food is not my friend’. I mean that I don’t like food or enjoy food, because of the eating disorder.

I’ve had hundreds of meals of potato chips, followed by chocolate…and hundreds of meals of blue-vein cheese and rice crackers. ever scary!
sometimes this can go on for months…

I did go to overeaters anonymous for a while, but it was 99.9% women, so wasn’t helpful, as I didn’t fit it.

I don’t like programs about cooking, except for Heston. I find him ‘down to earth’ and his programs are very interesting in terms of the whole ‘food experience’ instead of just cooking.

the reason I’m writing this post, is, I’m making a big effort to get back to my BMI, which is 80 kilograms.

sugar is my biggest trigger.
tests have clearly shown that when you have sugar, i.e. pop/soda/sweet drinks, you are more likely to overeat.



22 responses to “food is not my friend

  1. how brave of you to share, hopefully you find a balance and work towards making food your friend. Self love is such a hard thing to master, Have a good day

  2. Revealing a few of privacy is an act of courage, thank you for having done here.
    Food is not an enemy into reality!
    They are ” anxieties and negative emotions” when we try to fill an emotional void, or fill an “inner emptiness” with food.
    True, the sugar is in great triggering factor …
    It is necessary to find the self-respect
    by working particularly on negative emotions , taking care of health mentally and his body.
    Have a great day

  3. Omg I love sugar to! There is nothing better than sugar mixed with white flour. Lol. I’ve been there. Your not alone!! Eventually you will dig out. Its about your emotions. I’m still on a search for better ways of dealing with emotions and treating these awful disorders because the key to helping me is the key to helping others!

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