Narcissism : The Curse of the Chosen Child

Dr Nicholas Jenner

There are many articles around on the internet about all types of narcissism and the dangers of being in a relationship with someone who has these tendencies. The advice is clear : get away from the situation as quickly as possible. Anyone who is more on the codependent side of the continuum will testify that this is harder to put into practice than it sounds. However, what if the narcissist is your parent and has cloned you to be a living “perfect” version of him or her,? A child chosen to heal the parent’s own broken past. It happens more than we might imagine. For ease, I have highlighted this case with father and daughter. However, this concept is not limited to just that.

A parent who has developed a sense of narcissism through his own dysfunctional childhood often believes that by bringing a “perfect ” child into the world…

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4 responses to “Narcissism : The Curse of the Chosen Child

  1. This described my 8 year old…sad. He has become his dad’s voice, communicating for his dad on adult matters. Their dad parades them to church every Wednesday and every other Sunday…made up to be puppets-little versions of himself as a child-portraying himself and the kids as “perfect”. Honestly, I don’t think he fools too many people here (but at one time he did fool me). Great post

    • I so hear you.
      I got my father’s narcissim.
      The body type….particularly. i was obsessed with it, and sex just like him.
      Thankfully that has long gone now.
      Hugs, Gav.

  2. As you know I can relate as my mother is a narcissist. We aren’t even speaking anymore since she wrote me out of her life. I feel relieved and anguished at the same time. Thanks mom.

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